1:

What do you call a train carrying chewing gum?

Answer: Chew-Chew Train

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2:

Age 10: I want to be a piolet 

Age 15: I want to be a scientist

Age 20: I want to be an engineer

Age 25: I want to be a kid again.

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3: 

Teacher: Sani, if you had 5 dollars and you asked your mother to give more than 5 dollars, how many dollars would you have?

Sani:  5 dollars mam!

Teacher: you don't know your Arithmetic.

Sani: But mam, you don't know my mother!

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4:

Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?

Patient: Doctor I keep getting a feeling that nobody can hear me.

Doctor: What seems to be the problem? You're in good health. You'll live to be 80 years.

Patient: But Doctor, I am 80 years.

Doctor: See what did I tell you

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5:

Teacher: Where is the most intoxication?

Student: When we open the book............ we immediately get sleep so a book has the most intoxication!

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6:

What do you call a sheep that can dance?

Baa-lerina

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7:

Santa: You know, nowadays people have started considering me as God.

Banta: How?

Santa: Wherever I go, people say "Oh God! You cam again!"

Banta: Oh God!

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8: 

Santa: What are you doing?

Banta: Recording this babies voice.

Santa: Why?

Banta: So that I can ask him what he was telling now when he grows up!

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9:

A friend told me that he stays alert because of his ballet classes. They keep him on his toes.

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10: 

What's an astronaut's favourite part on a computer?

Answer: Space Bar!

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11: 

What kind of streets do Ghosts haunt?

Answer: Dead Ends

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12:

Teacher: What is the difference between Junior and Senior?

Student: The people who live near the zoo are called ZOO-NEAR and the people who live near the Sea are called SEA-NEAR.

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13:

Why couldn't the bicycle stand by itself?

Answer: it was TWO TIRED.

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